this place i'm in

I've spoken to many friends at this age who feel the same way I'm feeling.

Swirling in my brain...
Where am I in my life?
Am I where I'm supposed to be?
I have no idea where my life is going. I'm doing well. I'm doing shitty. I'm good at what I'm doing. I'm bored with what I'm doing.
What am I doing to grow myself? My mind? My spirituality? My relationships? My career?

Not much in this world is meant to be thought of in black and white, I believe. A lot of gray. I'm okay with gray (except the one hair I recently found in my hairline that is reminiscent of some shade of gray - still in denial on that...)

Sometimes I'm excited and curious about the gray. Other times I'm scared of the uncertainty that comes it. And I think living in the gray is harder...no absolutes. But learning to embrace and to grow with that realization...

Out of change and adversity comes growth. I feel myself growing. Into what, though? What direction am I carving out for my life? Embracing, again.

Maybe it's this third life crisis that plagues many of us that have minds that question, wonder and wander. I feel different after turning 28. I feel more reflective and more aware that I am actively creating my life. Looking at moving into the 30's made me reflect on my last decade of being. And, oh how different I feel that my 30's will be. Becoming more...well, "me" I suppose.

I like that. The last year has been a year of challenges and growth. Ebb & flow.

Here's to all the experiences that are "me" so far, and what is yet to come. I love all of you, as you are pieces of me.

wanderlust

I have always had this thing in me...pulling at my being. To go. To move. To try life somewhere else...

I wonder - how many people can identify with me on this reoccurring, nagging feeling of w a n d e r l u s t. I love to see, to feel, to explore... Every time I travel, my soul feels fed. I wonder if I do take the risk, follow my heart, will this feeling ever subside? Will the need ever be fed? What if I start to wonder...and never return?

I have always said I'll end up back in good ol' MN when I'm settled. Will I ever be "settled"? Maybe being settled feeds someone's soul like traveling to new places feeds mine. I wonder which is the blessing, and which is the curse. Embrace, instead of wonder.

I'm excited to experience China this month. And maybe someday, I'll wander...

the City by the Bay

Upon being sent to San Francisco for a work conference, I tacked on a few days on the front end of my trip to take in the city. Lucky me.

Welcome to the City by the Bay.

The neatest thing about my experience, was that I was traveling alone. To some, this is no big deal. To others, the thought of being alone causes trepidation. To me, it was an exciting challenge, all be it just a few days, exciting nonetheless.

Dia Uno
Upon arrival, I took the BART to the Palace Hotel downtown (not too shabby a place). Feeling energized and alive, I took to the sidewalks and walked to the waterfront. I walked past an artists market closing down for the day, and to the ferry building. As I continued down towards Pier 39, I began to notice how insanely international the city truly is. The people in San Francisco were of many tongues and many faces. I began to love it, picking up my pace. Awesome culture.

The bustle heightened as I got the the touristy area of Pier 39. Hungry, I ordered a healthy meal of a fresh crab cake and deep fried vegetables. (Breaded in what else, but SF's pride and joy, sourdough)

yum...


Dia Dos
I walked through the Ferry's Farmers Market which featured many growers of local and organic foods. I couldn't pass up a local and organic bakery, and settled on a "seasonal fruit crisp" and organic fair trade full city roast for breakfast. I was loving this GREEN city.

Back to the culture piece of this amazing city, I loved this random guy making an honest buck making people smile on a gorgeous Saturday morning outside the farmers market. (rocking out to your left)

LIFE is GOOD
FEEL the BEAT
SHARE the LOVE

I like it.

The most random part of my trip occurred as I was walking near Fisherman's Wharf. A retired fisherman (Darryl, below giving the thumbs up) driving a really beat up "restored" fishing boat, was offering unofficial bay tours for $11. But he could only take 6 guests at a time, the tour lasted 80 minutes, and because he was busy, the price just went up to $12. I figured what the hell, and boarded Darryl's boat.

Sitting up front (where the view is), I met 2 of my mates on this voyage into the bay. Peter and his wife (I couldn't spell nor pronounce her name - some Polak I am!) from Warsaw, Poland, and they were traveling Chicago, NYC, and SF for 2 weeks on holiday.

Peter turned out oddly enough to be my age, and what else but a Polish Congressman! We chatted about American culture and politics, and contrasted to what they told me about Polish culture and politics. Per Peter, I need to come visit their beautiful country.
I think I will someday.

Dining on a delicious Ghirardelli banana dark chocolate hot fudge sundae followed by a hot slice of cheese pizza, I decided to wrap up my day.

Not so healthy, but what the heck? I figured I walked about 100 blocks that day. My quads and calves were feelin' the burn from the mileage and incline (a good feeling, reminding me they were still there).

I was loving that I was back in a "pedestrian city".

A lovely day.

I walked back through Chinatown, taking in the sights, sounds, smells, and storefronts.

A little more San Fran...

Walking to Little Italy, I found a perfectly charming Itailan Cucina called Pellegrini where the staff all still spoke Italian.

I cozied up to the quaint bar, and enjoyed a glass of pinot noir, and a perfectly fresh and wonderful al dente plate of Pollo Parmisano con penne.

My server was so charming, I had to order dessert, too. Vanilla bean gellato with espresso and toasted hazelnuts.

Bon appitito. Simple pleasures, baby.

___________________________
Back to the thought of traveling alone, the most intimidating thing to me was sitting down to dinner at a restaurant, surrounded by couples, families, groups of friends. Asking for a table for 1. Just me. (One hostess at B44 in the French Quarter tried to direct me to the bar, passing prime patio seats. I was politely told her no, I'd like to sit right out front on the charming, bustling patio.)

I realized how you can choose to feel conscious or unconscious of the fact that you are "alone", and choose to relish it if you wish. Being present in the experience.

I enjoyed the fresh, crisp air of the patio at B44 in the French Quarter, the neon ambiance of a Thai restaurant in the Castro neighborhood, the intoxicating smells of an Indian restaurant in the financial district, and of course the lovely, perfect meal at Pellegrini in Little Italy.

A few more pictures...A wonderful week in a lovely city. Signing off. Ciao.

Simple pleasures.

I am following through on a promise to myself - I have started a blog. I thought only a bit about a name, and "loon calling" came to mind. To me, hearing a loon call and its echo over a lake is one of the most marvelous sounds I believe I will ever hear. It brings peace, amazement, music, simplicity, complexity and mystery to my mind....kinda like life.

Part of the reason I wanted to create my blog is to remind myself to take pause, listen, breathe, and reflect.

I believe in taking simple pleasures in life...delighting in the small things around you. This blog my tribute to simple beauty, discovery and enjoyment, in whatever form that may come for you. To live life mindfully.

Simple pleasures of mine:

• putting on a clean pair of cotton socks
• snuggling with a dog
• a perfect cup of java
• a wonderful meal
  
• wearing flip flops, comfy jeans, and a cotton tee
  
• walking though a marketplace taking in sights, colors, smells, sounds
  
• gardening, playing in the dirt
  
• holding a child
• holding hands
• laying in a hammock
  
• reading a good book
  
• giving & receiving hugs
• sending cards & love in the form of snail mail
• hearing laughter & seeing smiles
  
• sitting near a body of water
• being a bystander witnessing another's expression of peace or love
  

I'd love to hear some of yours. Feel free to share...

Peace & love to you today.
-h