I've spoken to many friends at this age who feel the same way I'm feeling.
Swirling in my brain...
Where am I in my life?
Am I where I'm supposed to be?
I have no idea where my life is going. I'm doing well. I'm doing shitty. I'm good at what I'm doing. I'm bored with what I'm doing.
What am I doing to grow myself? My mind? My spirituality? My relationships? My career?
Not much in this world is meant to be thought of in black and white, I believe. A lot of gray. I'm okay with gray (except the one hair I recently found in my hairline that is reminiscent of some shade of gray - still in denial on that...)
Sometimes I'm excited and curious about the gray. Other times I'm scared of the uncertainty that comes it. And I think living in the gray is harder...no absolutes. But learning to embrace and to grow with that realization...
Out of change and adversity comes growth. I feel myself growing. Into what, though? What direction am I carving out for my life? Embracing, again.
Maybe it's this third life crisis that plagues many of us that have minds that question, wonder and wander. I feel different after turning 28. I feel more reflective and more aware that I am actively creating my life. Looking at moving into the 30's made me reflect on my last decade of being. And, oh how different I feel that my 30's will be. Becoming more...well, "me" I suppose.
I like that. The last year has been a year of challenges and growth. Ebb & flow.
Here's to all the experiences that are "me" so far, and what is yet to come. I love all of you, as you are pieces of me.
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2 comments:
i love you too, hales! I love who you are and who you are growing into. growth = both fun and scary. to quote YOU, "love who you are, each and every day" ...its from a fizz ball! haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
long time since we last saw each other, but I still love ya.
Introspection at this age is not uncommon, it's what being human is all about. Our lives are made of stories. Let's create some courageous ones!
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