I've spoken to many friends at this age who feel the same way I'm feeling. 
Swirling in my brain...
Where am I in my life?
Am I where I'm supposed to be?
I have no idea where my life is going.  I'm doing well.  I'm doing shitty.  I'm good at what I'm doing.  I'm bored with what I'm doing. 
What am I doing to grow myself?  My mind?  My spirituality?  My relationships?  My career?
Not much in this world is meant to be thought of in black and white, I believe.  A lot of gray.  I'm okay with gray (except the one hair I recently found in my hairline that is reminiscent of some shade of gray - still in denial on that...) 
Sometimes I'm excited and curious about the gray.  Other times I'm scared of the uncertainty that comes it.  And I think living in the gray is harder...no absolutes.  But learning to embrace and to grow with that realization...
Out of change and adversity comes growth.  I feel myself growing.  Into what, though?  What direction am I carving out for my life?  Embracing, again.
Maybe it's this third life crisis that plagues many of us that have minds that question, wonder and wander.  I feel different after turning 28.  I feel more reflective and more aware that I am actively creating my life.  Looking at moving into the 30's made me reflect on my last decade of being.  And, oh how different I feel that my 30's will be.  Becoming more...well, "me" I suppose. 
I like that.  The last year has been a year of challenges and growth.  Ebb & flow. 
Here's to all the experiences that are "me" so far, and what is yet to come.  I love all of you, as you are pieces of me.
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2 comments:
i love you too, hales! I love who you are and who you are growing into. growth = both fun and scary. to quote YOU, "love who you are, each and every day" ...its from a fizz ball! haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
long time since we last saw each other, but I still love ya.
Introspection at this age is not uncommon, it's what being human is all about. Our lives are made of stories. Let's create some courageous ones!
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